The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Terrible idea I love it
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
