This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
