Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
