he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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