there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
whose parrot is this?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
