he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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