So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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