honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
