I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
