butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
