i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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