Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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