I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
