If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
