Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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