Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
