their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
