...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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