You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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