I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
