I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
what day is it and did you see me today?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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