All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
