hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
