Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
