my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
