Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
