Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
