Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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