Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
