one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Two words: blizzard sex
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
