i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
