I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
