Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
