I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize