The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i will never coherently bang her
birth control should be required to get into college
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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