My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
