i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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