Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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