He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
