You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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