sarcasm needs its own font
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
