Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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