I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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