She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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