I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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