How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
