So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
