Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
