AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
