can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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