I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
