So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
