I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
