im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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