yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
