He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
