Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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