I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
